|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|McCain Will Fix Our World
Monday, May 26th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|On this day honoring our war veterans, John McCain restated his opposition to providing vets with generous education benefits. If a veteran gets a free ride at, say, Dartmouth, where tuition is near $40k and whose president actively recruits service men and women, that vet won’t re-enlist. Your average veteran, McCain argues, would choose an idyllic campus set in pristine New Hampshire woodland over getting shot at and blown up in the toxic dust cloud of Iraq. This is the kind of good sense we’ve come to expect from the straight talker. Indeed his unimpeachable logic applies to a broad range of social programs long overdue for reform.
Public schools provide free education for all youngsters. This has emptied the work houses of child labor, stripped the fields of able-bodied youths, and deprived assembly lines of nimble-fingered tots. As a result, we’ve had to either import all that controversial south of the border labor or outsource our child labor to China. The McCain solution: close public schools and put those kids back to work where they belong. Anyone who can afford to buy a private education can opt out of the system, thus supplying the next generation of Republicans. The program would be modeled on our current volunteer army, where those rich enough to avoid being blown up in Iraq can do so if they choose.
The nation has a shortage of nurses and police officers. These dangerous and difficult jobs are of course essential for our collective well-being, so the shortage is a serious matter. The culprit? Pensions. Overly generous pension benefits cause police and nurses to retire. McCain’s solution is simple. Strip nurses and police officers of their pensions, thus forcing them to stay on the job. Furthermore, McCain points to the virtuous circle effect: all that money otherwise destined to fund pension programs and will instead line the pockets of hospital executives and Republican municipal politicians and eventually find its way into the coffers of the GOP.
Public transit is another source of waste and inefficiency. Buses and trains cut into automobile sales and oil company profits while providing no benefits at all to those who can afford their own cars. Eliminate public transit therefore, says John McCain. Those who can’t afford to buy a car can walk, which will be good for their health.
And these are just a few examples of the forward thinking reforms we can expect in a McCain presidency. What with public housing, medicare, social security, Head Start, the public university system, etc., President McCain will have ample scope to reshape our world for the betterment of those who will likely vote for him.
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A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
|The Instant Poet|
|McCain's Acceptance Speech|
|Hillary for President|
|Diplomacy, McCain Style|
|All Lies, All the Time|
|Conversation With a Patriot|
|Now a Member of the Worldwide Communities of Blogs at Blogwise.com|
|VOL. IV, No. 26|