The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
Monday, February 25th, 2008
Shirt sleeves are where you sport your religious feelings, not your patriotism. Indeed in the case of truly fervent believers like Mike Huckabee or Joe Lieberman, the sheer volume of their religiosity is such that shirt sleeves simply have no room for anything else. This is true of the born again George W. Bush as well, who must also keep his sleeves unburdened to more freely pat himself on the back for doing a heck of a job. And have you noticed Dick Cheney’s flag pin? Not having any particular religious beliefs, apart from a profound admiration for Satan and all his works, Mr. Cheney overcompensates by wearing a slightly over-sized version.
John McCain is never seen without his lapel mounted patriotism. His shirt sleeves are reserved at all times for clutching by vacant looking blondes, corporate lobbyists, and all combinations of the two. John Boehner, always a model of sartorial elegance, carries his patriotism on his lapel to keep his impeccable sleeves free for eye-wiping. The House Minority Leader is much given to tearing up at the podium. GOP Senator Larry Craig couldn’t possibly wear his patriotism on his shirt sleeves, as it might get in the way when reaching under men’s room stalls.
Bill O’Reilly always wears his lapel pin. So do Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and the other ranters of the right. Wearing their patriotism on their shirt sleeves would be disrespectful, since that garment is in constant use as a sop for the flecks of foam that gather around their ever open mouths.
As for William Kristol himself, he never wears an overcoat, no matter how cold it is, the better to display his lapel flag pin. He is doubtless thinking of Dr. Johnson, since as a soundrel he takes refuge in his patriotism, not in outergarments. And as the man himself avers, paraphrasing Admiral Nelson, “what do I need with an overcoat, when love of my country and my commander-in-chief keeps me warm?” This is why he is always seen bending over in the presence of President Bush. Not in a bow, mind you. Kristol invariably faces the wrong way for that.
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A NOTE TO READERS
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
