The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
Don't Even Think About It
Wednesday,  August 1st, 2007
The Nossiter Net is cast  to snare some of  the riper rascalities of the day.  Comments?
Christine Lagarde, French Minister of Finance, wants her compatriots to philosophize less.  The business of the land of Descartes and Sartre is business she declares, not thinking. Rodin’s iconic sculpture is to be renamed “The Yoga Enthusiast.”  The three course lunch will be replaced by “le quick bite.”  Lovers will henceforth avoid cogitation and stick to consummation, cooks shall season, not reason, and winemakers forego cerebration in favor of vinification.  Of course all three classes of French pursue these activities to a notorious extent already, but doubtless Ms. Lagarde will simply instruct them to redouble their efforts.

The new Sarkozy government’s initiative is not original of course.  President Coolidge proclaimed the “business of the American people is business” back in the ‘20s, while setting in motion policies that would help bring American business activity to a dead halt during the depression of the next decade.  Silent Cal was a practical man not much given to thought.

And indeed, there’s the rub.  Forsaking thought, though it may save wear and tear on the brain cells, does bear serious costs.  Consider for example the witless of China’s northern provinces.  Extensive mining in the region leads to a high mortality rate among young men, in part because the Chinese government, unthinkingly bound to unfettered capitalism, doesn’t believe in safety regulations.  Many die too young even to have married.  This causes anguish for their families, who dislike a solitary eternity for their loved ones.  And so the bodies of female corpses are dug up, to be re-buried alongside their likewise deceased “spouses” for macabre post-mortem nuptials.  Quite a thriving business has sprung up in used female corpses, whose price varies by date of death and birth.  The youngest and most recently dead command prices in the thousands of dollars.  One local entrepreneur hit on the idea of ensuring a steady supply of the highest priced goods, and of saving himself the trouble of digging up the bodies, by simply slaughtering live young woman.  He at least had his thinking cap on, even if his government doesn’t own one.

Throughout Africa, the completely thought-free conventional wisdom has it that sex with  virgins cures AIDS.  This has given rise to an extensive trade in very young girls, who are procured from impoverished villages as far away as India and dispatched to brothels throughout the region.  Upon losing their allure, the girls are returned to their homes where, inevitably, they spread the disease with which they themselves are now afflicted.  Their newly infected partners then seek curative virgins, with predictable consequences.  Because African governments long ago forsook thought in favor of graft, nobody bothers to end the vicious circle with a little judicious truth.

As for the United States, where the electorate gave up all thought of thought long ago, the results are evident.  Thought free leaders we may or may not have voted into office, while themselves undergoing colonoscopies and pacemaker replacements and treatment for seizures, have just vowed to veto legislation extending health insurance to uninsured children.  They’re about to consummate a $20 billion dollar arms deal with Saudi Arabia, so that the Saudis may better arm the Iraqi Sunni groups now fighting each other, their Shia enemies,  and us, in Iraq.  They insist on sacrificing more young American men and woman to give the Iraqi government more time to pull itself together, even though said Iraqi government has just gone on an extended vacation.  They’ve alienated our neighbors, made enemies of the rest of the world, and made a hash of the economy here at home.

Our leaders have also encouraged a big increase in religious observance. After all, if you’re going to live without thought, something has to take its place.

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There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th,  nearly eight weeks.  The reason:  tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period.  At one point, they even managed to lose all the files.  In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming.  No one seemed able to fix the problem.  Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March.  A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called.  He had my letter before him.  Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day.  That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.

The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.


©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2007

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Last Words
Imbeciles Anonymous
A Recipe for BBQ
Exlegicial Decision
Shut Up, Lose the Stick
Cultural Learnings of Albania
Cheney's Book Club
This Pup Won't Hunt
Superman, Everyman
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