|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|Tales of the Booboisie
Thursday, March 20th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|The latest CNN/Opinion Research poll says George Bush’s approval rating is at a new low of 31%. The Iraq war is five years old with no end in sight. The economy is in the toilet. We’ve never been more disliked abroad or unhappy at home. So who are these thirty-one percenters who still find something to like about W’s reign of terror?
This page went in search of conservative men, Bush’s strongest demographic, for answers. From the vantage point of a busy downtown San Francisco street corner, a tourist hub, subjects meeting that description were abundant. Most were from out of town. The question: Why do you like President Bush?
Vince Young, 18, unemployed, Spokane, WA: Bush like rocks. Ya know? He’s like way, way cool. He like wears that little flag in his lapel, ya know? That’s just cool. Way cool. And like once, he like choked on a pretzel when he was watching TV, fell off the couch, and bashed his head. And ya know, I do the same thing, like all the time! Yeah, Bush like rocks.
Herbert Heaver, 28, rancher, Billings, MT: His boots. Snakeskin cowboy boots. He wears ‘em under his suit. So he’s real professional from the shins up, and a cowboy from the shins down. I like that. Shows he’s a man’s man. Plus, he’s got a cute butt.
Oscar Leggman, 23, bike messenger, San Francisco, CA: Dude, he’s a biker dude. He frickin’ bikes all the time. Mountain bikes. He biked with Lance Armstrong. He biked with the Chinese Olympic team. He bikes, dude. Yeah. A biker dude.
Clarence Gaynor, 19, college student, Dallas, TX: I’m majoring in petroleum studies, and it’s important for me to have a job when I graduate. So I really like the way President Bush wants to open up national parks land for oil and natural gas production. All that land is just sitting there not doing anything, right? And we have an oil and gas shortage, right? So it’s just logical to put that land to good use. The way I figure it, the more new oil and gas fields we open up, the better my chance of getting a job when I graduate. I mean, it’s my career against some trees and moose and bears. I mean, what’s more important. Right?
Milton Thickke, 29, advertising executive, Reno, NV: All those slogans you see behind the president when he makes a speech, like “Plan for Victory,” or “Mission Accomplished”? That’s good marketing, and I admire good marketing. And you remember when former White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card said we wouldn’t invade Iraq in the summer, because you never roll out a new product in the summer? That’s just smart marketing. I admire smart marketing. And you notice that the president always answers questions by repeating lines like “we’ll stand down when the Iraqis stand up” and “we’re staying the course.” Powerful marketing. I admire powerful marketing.
Gordon Argent, 25, bank trainee, New York, NY: I think it’s really, really important to have a president who projects a strong image, has a plan for victory, doesn’t cut and run, stays the course, gets the mission accomplished, and won’t stand down until the Iraqis stand up. President Bush is like that. He’s manly, steadfast, and eloquent, in a plain-spoken kind of way. And one more thing: he’s got a cute butt.
Alan Piounus, 21, seminarian, St. Paul, MN: The president is a man of faith, whose favorite philosopher is Jesus, who appeals to the highest authority in his decision making. In these dark days, with morality under siege and lewdness and licentiousness all around us, we must have a man of faith to guide us. Mr. Bush has the moral clarity to distinguish right from wrong, good from evil. And look at how well it has all turned out! George Bush’s term in office, like a hurricane or an earthquake or a flood, has truly been an act of God. The proof? When it is over, the giving of thanks will be universal..
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A NOTE TO READERS
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
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|VOL. IV, No. 15|