|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|Sarah Palin is Ready On Day One
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|The same people who read books other than the bible are accusing Sarah Palin, in case she's elected and her running mate finishes his already partly completed shuffle off the mortal coil, of being unprepared to assume the duties of the presidency. This demonstrates the intolerance, lack of faith, and cultural arrogance of the reading classes. Governor Palin is perfectly prepared to be the leader of the free world. Her qualifications merely have to be viewed in context.
Suppose hordes of ravening wolves suddenly attack the nation's capital. A President Obama would waste time consulting civilian and military authorities, formulating a counter-attack, and mobilizing the forces to execute it. Who knows how many lives would be lost in the interval? President Palin on the other hand would instantly load her hunting rifle, whistle up Marine One, and take to the skies for the heli-hunting at which she's so adept. Her wealth of experience in blasting dumb chums from the sky would apply to similar incursions by polar bears, grizzly bears, rabid moose, or Godzilla.
Suppose, as the governor avers, all the scientists are wrong about global warming. Instead of heating up, says Sarah, our planet is plenty cold. Just ask any Alaskan. We might well be confronting a new ice age. So what happens when all the roads and rails and runways are snowbound? A President Obama would have to wait for the snow plows to clear the way before he could venture forth. President Palin would merely whistle up the First Dude, climb behind him on Snowmobile One, and go wherever she wants.
Suppose the increasingly hegemonic and paranoid Russians decide not to stop with Georgia but embark instead on a full scale effort to reclaim their lost Soviet empire. President Obama would have to rely on the CIA, the NSA, and all the other intelligence apparatuses of government. These, it scarcely bears repeating, have been wrong about every major international event since their inception, from Korea to Sputnik to Iraq. President Palin on the other hand has been keeping a close personal eye on the Russians from her vantage point in Alaska. She can actually see them right across the Bering Straits. She knows exactly what they're up to because she's keeping an eye on them. And as president she vows to keep keeping an eye on them. What more could any citizen ask?
If the Palin administration bans birth control and the nation is faced with a flood tide of births, who better qualified to cope than fecund-five-child Sarah? If the earth really is flat and people start falling over the edge, who's more ready to believe the awful truth than she? Ditto the return of the dinosaurs, the second coming, and the emergence of the anti-Christ.
Speaking of which, suppose these really are the end times as many Americans believe. All Christian evangelicals are booked straight for heaven. The rest of us, not so much. Who would you rather looked God in the eye to demand a little tolerance and understanding, the woman whose church wants to "pray away gays" and convert Jews, or that other guy who's wasted his time studying constitutional law and such? Sarah Palin, ready on day one? It's merely a question of perspective.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
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A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
|The Instant Poet|
|A Sarah Palin Bestiary|
|GOP Family Fun|
|The Secret Behind Sarah|
|Rich vs. Famous|
|McCain: Man of the Moment|
|Dear New York Times|
|Jerome R. Corsi: The Dis-Corsi Code|
|Bush's Gift to the World|
|Ticket to Ride the Straight Talk Express|
|Now a Member of the Worldwide Communities of Blogs at Blogwise.com|
|VOL. IV, No. 54|