|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|A Sarah Palin Bestiary
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|The Palin campaign takes offense at Barack Obama remarking that "you can put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig." Palin's people say Obama is calling their queen of pork, the governor who took the $213 million for the bridge to nowhere and spent it elsewhere, who skims the lard off her state's oil profits (earned at the expense of hapless drivers in the other forty-nine) by passing out fat checks to her constituents, a porker. If true, this would be very insulting.
Despite its reputation, Sus Domesticus is very clean, naturally lean, loyal, nurturing of its young, and a quick study. The pig is extremely friendly, harboring animus for neither man nor beast. It is also highly intelligent, more so than any dog. So far Governor Palin has demonstrated neither extreme friendliness nor high intelligence. The reverse, rather. To call her a pig is therefore both inaccurate and deeply offensive – to pigs.
So call her a boar, because who isn't already bored by her relentless spouting of whiney inanities, her serial lies, her phony outrage, her malicious attacks on her opponents. Call her a fat cat for her ceaseless efforts to further endow Alaska, the biggest welfare state in the union, with additional federal largesse at our expense. Call her a snake in the grass for her betrayal of the public trust by billing the state for travel expenses while living at home. Call her a one-trick pony, because even though she doesn't know much about anything she does seem to have the knack of energizing a room full of dopey Republicans. Call her a queer fish or a red herring because God knows she's either or both. Call her a sacred cow for that matter since she seems to think oil pipelines and senseless wars are ordained by God. Even though she's no spring chicken go ahead and call her a fox, but only if you’re an abstinence-crazed GOP wanker who's blind as a bat. Call her a pig in the poke if you must, since it's doubtful McCain really knew what he was buying when he signed her up.
Just don't call her a pig. She doesn't deserve it.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
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A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
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|Dear New York Times|
|Jerome R. Corsi: The Dis-Corsi Code|
|Bush's Gift to the World|
|Ticket to Ride the Straight Talk Express|
|McCain's Diary: Part III|
|Now a Member of the Worldwide Communities of Blogs at Blogwise.com|
|VOL. IV, No. 53|