|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|GOP Family Fun
Friday, September 5th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|Now that the GOP freak show, er convention, is over, how are the faithful to fill the void? Here are worthy activities for good Republicans:
Put together a list of synonyms for uppity other than "elitist."
Practice the goose step. It scares the hell out of Jews and blacks, plus it's great exercise.
Dye your hair blonder and touch up wrinkles with more botox. Party homogeneity is so important.
Go to a gay bar and yell "fire."
The census says whites will be a minority in a few years, so have a baby. Or five.
Buy a fur coat and wear it to San Francisco.
Order a copy of Protocols of the Elders of Zion for your homeschoolers.
Stock up on ammo. The Democrats will probably lose in November as usual but you don't want to be caught unprepared.
Fry bacon outside a mosque.
Watch Triumph of the Will a few more hundred times to perfect the rapt expression feigned by spectators at GOP public events and to fully harmonize those USA chants.
Make your own Barack Obama dart board.
Send a love letter to Anne Coulter. If female, to Bill O'Reilly.
Drive through an inner-city neighborhood blasting John Denver.
Burn a cross.
Burn some books.
Drill for oil in your own back yard..
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
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A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
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