|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|An Immodest Proposal
Wednesday, November 18th, 2008
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? Send a letter to the editor.|
|$700 billion for the U.S. bailout of the financial system? Chump change. According to Bloomberg*, the Treasury Department has already made $2 trillion in emergency loans to – Treasury won't say. Banks and other big businesses obviously, but which? It's a secret. Those are tax dollars of course, on the subject of which President Bush always insists "it's yer money." Good point. So now's the time to put your money where his mouth is. This page has never wished George W. Bush any good will, but the president's mantra contains the germ of an idea so great it could save his legacy and the economy too.
Joseph Stiglitz says we've already blown $3 trillion in Iraq. Add that to the $700 billion in over the counter bailout funds, plus the $2 trillion in under the table payoffs, plus the hundreds of billions handed so far to AIG, and we're talking a cool $6 trillion. The only tangible result of this colossal spending spree? A super-deluxe spa retreat for AIG executives. Otherwise that money is gone for good with absolutely nothing to show for it. The economy's still in the toilet, jobs are disappearing faster than Sarah Palin's wardrobe, and the nightmare prospect of deflation looms. Doubtless the Treasury is counting on pumping many more trillions into banking and big business. The auto manufacturers are already lined up at the trough; can the airlines, pharmaceutical giants, and the oil oligopoly be far behind?
But enough already. Before we waste another dime on the bums who got us into this fix, let's apply the genius of President Bush. It really is "yer money," after all. Mine too. So hand it over. Right now. Cash or US Treasury check, it's all the same to us. What we've already wasted on Iraq and big banking amounts to about $20,000 for every man, woman, and child in the United States. Twenty thousand each, and we might as well have shredded it for confetti. Even so it hasn't been a complete loss, not if we heed the wisdom of the president. Think of it as the most lavish education a nation ever bought itself.
It's obvious the penny ante trillions distributed to pin-striped fat cats haven't done us a bit of good. So let's spend real money, and let's spend it on something worthwhile: ourselves. $200,000 for every man, woman, and child in the U.S. An $800,000 windfall for a family of four. $60 trillion in total. OK, so there'll be a lot of very rich Mormon households. But everybody else will benefit too. Families will stave off foreclosure. They'll buy cars and revive the auto industry. Since even individuals without bank accounts will have to open one, the banks will be so flush with deposits they'll start lending again. The economy will roar back to life instantly. There'll be jobs for all and a chicken, not Spam, in every pot.
This plan has everything going for it, including the virtue of simplicity – which is exactly what you'd expect from the brain of George W. Bush. It's also certain to work, unlike Paulson's bumbling half-measures. And yes, it's expensive. But at least it'll be money well spent.
[With thanks to Eric Nossiter for the great idea.]
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2008
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A NOTE TO READERS ***Update***
Another three week plus hiatus, from April 30th until May 23rd, again due to Yahoo Geocities dismal service.
There was nothing new at The Nossiter Net between March 3rd and April 26th, 2007, nearly eight weeks. The reason: tech sabotage. Yahoo Geocities, the host for this site, denied access for the entire period. At one point, they even managed to lose all the files. In many discussions with Yahoo staff, no clear explanation was forthcoming. No one seemed able to fix the problem. Ruling out the possibility of Dubbya’s revenge, I finally wrote to Mr. Terry Semel, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! Inc and described the ordeal the page had undergone since the beginning of March. A week later, a helpful Yahooo engineer named Jason called. He had my letter before him. Though he couldn’t do the repairs on on the spot, he promised a fix by the next day. That was April 26th, nearly two months after shutting me down in the first place.
The Nossiter Net apologizes, which is more than I can say for Yahoo Geocities.
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