|The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
|W's Fan Club
Friday, December 9th, 2005
|The Nossiter Net is cast to snare some of the riper rascalities of the day. Comments? email@example.com|
|News Item: The latest New York Times/CBS poll says that George Bush’s approval rating has climbed from 35% to 40%. His gains primarily came among men, independents, 18-to-29-year-olds and conservatives. – New York Times
Who are these additional 5% of our citizens who think Mr. Bush is doing a good job as president? This page went in search of 18-to-29-year-old conservative, independent men for answers to that question. From the vantage point of a busy downtown San Francisco street corner, a tourist hub, subjects meeting that description were abundant. Many were from out of town. We asked them just what it is they approve of in George W. Bush. A random sample:
Vince Young, 18, unemployed, Spokane, WA: Bush like rocks. Ya know? He’s like way, way cool. He like wears that little flag in his lapel, ya know? That’s just cool. Way cool. And like once, he like choked on a pretzel when he was watching TV, fell off the couch, and bashed his head. And ya know, I do the same thing, like all the time! Yeah, Bush like rocks.
Herbert Heaver, 28, rancher, Billings, MT: His boots. Snakeskin cowboy boots. He wears ‘em under his suit. So he’s real professional from the shins up, and a cowboy from the shins down. I like that. Shows he’s a man’s man. Plus, he’s got a cute butt.
Oscar Leggman, 23, bike messenger, San Francisco, CA: Dude, he’s a biker dude. He frickin’ bikes all the time. Mountain bikes. He biked with Lance Armstrong. He biked with the Chinese Olympic team. He bikes, dude. Yeah. A biker dude.
Clarence Gaynor, 19, college student, Dallas, TX: I’m majoring in petroleum studies, and it’s important for me to have a job when I graduate. So I really like the way President Bush wants to open up national parks land for oil and natural gas production. All that land is just sitting there not doing anything, right? And we have an oil and gas shortage, right? So it’s just logical to put that land to good use. The way I figure it, the more new oil and gas fields we open up, the better my chance of getting a job when I graduate. I mean, it’s my career against some trees and moose and bears. I mean, what’s more important. Right?
Milton Thickke, 29, advertising executive, Reno, NV: All those slogans you see behind the president when he makes a speech, like “Plan for Victory,” or “Mission Accomplished”? That’s good marketing, and I admire good marketing. And you remember when the White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card said we wouldn’t invade Iraq in the summer, because you never roll out a new product in the summer? That’s just smart marketing. I admire smart marketing. And you notice that the president always answers questions by repeating lines like “we’ll stand down when the Iraqis stand up” and “we’re staying the course.” Powerful marketing. I admire powerful marketing.
Gordon Argent, 25, bank trainee, New York, NY: I think it’s really, really important to have a president who projects a strong image, has a plan for victory, doesn’t cut and run, stays the course and gets the mission accomplished and won’t stand down until the Iraqis stand up. And President Bush is like that. He’s manly, steadfast, and eloquent, in a plain-spoken kind of way. And one more thing: he’s got a cute butt.
Alan Piounus, 21, seminarian, St. Paul, MN: The president is a man of faith, whose favorite philosopher is Jesus, and who appeals to the highest authority for help in his decision making. In these dark days, with traditional morality under siege, and lewdness and licentiousness all around us, we must have a man of faith to guide us. When I see all that Mr. Bush has accomplished in just a term and a half in office, I see the hand of God, and I give thanks. Also, the president has a really cute butt.
©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2005
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