The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
The Morning Mendacity
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
The Nossiter Net is cast  to snare some of  the riper rascalities of the day.  Comments?
Speaking to the Radio-Television News Directors Association* on June 1st, 2005, in a talk given no attention by the mainstream press, George W. Bush revealed some of his inner secrets:

“You know, I don’t worry all that much…”
“I work out a lot.  A lot…”
“I’m a crier, and I weep a lot.”
“So I feel great…”
“I’m sleeping pretty good.”
“Look, I’m a First Amendment guy.”
“And when I told the American people we’re not torturing, we’re not torturing.”

President Bush has been an enigma in his first five years in office, just as he was an enigma before he became President.  The world’s first Andover, Yale, and Harvard trained cowboy, he was a hard-drinking, women-chasing, huntin’, shootin’, and fishin’ kind of guy.  A failed oil man, he made a fortune with insider trading, and parlayed it into an even greater fortune with a sweetheart baseball-team-cum-land-grab deal.  And when he took the stage as a national candidate, he was a born-again, teetotalling, evangelical governor of Texas.

Swept into office by a weak-minded and ideologically bent Supreme Court, his first year and three-quarters as President was spent largely on vacation.  Standing on the rubble of the World Trade Center, megaphone in hand and hard hat on head, he emerged as the bring ‘em back dead or alive Texas Ranger he clearly always wanted to be.  And he’s been busy ever since:  making a hash of the capture of Osama bin Laden, blundering into Iraq for no good reason, encouraging an orgy of corporate malfeasance, alienating our allies and comforting our enemies, creating an ever-growing divide between society’s haves and have nots, undermining education, scientific research, human rights, and the rule of law.

So who is he, finally, this enigmatic leader of the free world?  Out of these shards of disparate personality clues, is it possible to piece together a mosaic of the whole man?  Thanks to his confessional remarks to the Radio-Television News Directors Association, the answer is yes.  A close analysis of his comments, in the context of Mr. Bush’s background and experience, finally provides a true picture of the 43rd President.

The excerpted remarks fall into two categories:  true, and false.  It is evidently true that the President doesn’t worry much, works out a lot, and feels great.  We must take him at his word that he sleeps well and that he cries a lot.  Nothing in the record would seem to contradict either assertion; many, including his wife, have attested to the President’s capacity for snoozing.

It is evidently false that the President is a First Amendment kind of guy.  By assiduously forcing organized religion into the government and the classroom, Mr. Bush has shown himself to be no friend of the establishment clause.  In his administration’s relentless campaign to stifle opposing voices, intimidate and manipulate the press, and suppress peaceful demonstrations against the government’s policies, the President is demonstrably against the rest of the First Amendment.

Equally false is Mr. Bush’s claim that “we’re not torturing.”  Documentary proof is plentiful, with pictures, that his representatives have engaged in torture in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Guantanamo Bay.  The President’s Central Intelligence Agency routinely ships prisoners to Syria or Egypt, where torture is carried out by proxy, a procedure known as “rendition” and for which documentary evidence is also plentiful.

And so we are left with a person who sleeps, plays, and cries a lot, doesn’t worry much, and tells great big fat whopping lies with a perfectly straight face.  There are two sorts of people fitting that profile:  small children, and complete imbeciles.  At age 59, Mr. Bush is too old to be a small child.


©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2005
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