The Nossiter Net
The net that shall enmesh them all
Edited, Written, and Published by Josh Nossiter
Devil's Dictionary Redux
Friday, January 13th, 2006
The Nossiter Net is cast  to snare some of  the riper rascalities of the day.  Comments?
A Voter’s Guide to the Republican Lexicon

Answer:  1.  Any windy verbiage unrelated to the question;  2.  An attack on the motives, honesty, or patriotism of the questioner.
Benefits:  1. (government transfer payments to the poor) A heedless waste of tax money; 2.  (government transfer payments to the rich) Sound economic policy (see fiscal responsibility.)
Constitution:  1.  18C U.S. document frequently invoked by name whose actual contents are discounted, distorted, or ignored;  2. 18C U.S. document used to justify 21C Republican polices whenever plausible (rare).
Dignified:  Any proceeding in which Republicans get their way unopposed.
Expensive:  School lunch programs, universal medical insurance, public education, subsidized housing (see Benefits 1.)
Frugality:  Billion dollar stealth destroyers, tax cuts for the rich, corporate welfare, manned mission to Mars.
Gerrymander:  Depriving any electoral district of a Republican majority.  After Elbridge Gerry, Republican Governor of Massachusetts in 1812, who arranged matters rather differently.
Hindmost:  Taken by the devil; see Democrat
Irresponsible:  1.  Criticism of Republican policies;  2.  Exposure of Republican law-breaking, espec. relating to domestic spying, defense contracts, energy policy.
Joke:  That which is on the voters during a Republican administration.
Kleptocracy:  1.  System of government in which officials help others by helping themselves first; 2.  A Republican administration.
Loser:  1.  Voters for the Democratic party during an election;  2.  All voters during a Republican administration.
Morality:  Any system of beliefs or code of behavior that includes regular attendance at church and Republican fund raisers.
Numbness:   1.  Loss of sensation due to excessive exposure to Republican speechmaking;  2.  The mental condition of an electorate after a term of Republican rule.
Ovulate:  Bodily function of which anti-choice Republicans are incapable.  Syn:  Erection
Pentagon:  1.  Distribution center for Republican largesse;  2.  Training facility for defense industry executives;  3.  Five-sided figure associated with satanic rites (see Pentagram).
Quid pro quo:  Foundation of the Republican system of governance (see Kleptocracy).
Republican:  1.  A wealthy white male intent on feathering his nest;  2.  Delusional non-wealthy-white-males with marked self-destructive tendencies.
Savings:  Cuts in spending on public services.
Taxes:  Transfer payments from the middle class to the wealthy.
Unbelievable:  The two-term presidency of George W. Bush.
Veracity:  Truth-telling (archaic).
W.:  1.  A smirking, ignorant, incompetent, mendacious, malevolent buffoon;  2.  The President of the United States.
Xiphoid:  (anatomy)  The bony lower end of the human sternum, in the ordinary citizen the principal target for the toe of the Republican boot.
Yale:  A historic institution of higher learning which has graduated two successive Presidents Bush completely innocent of all thought, knowledge, or learning either lower or higher.
Zip:  In round terms the return, both material and spiritual, which ordinary voters get from any period of Republican rule.

©Joshua C. Nossiter, 2006
Last Words
Machine-gun Sammy Rides Again
A Pentagon Christmas
When Inmates Run the Asylum
Listening In
Waiting for George
W's Fan Club
Sell of the Century
See Dick Garden
The Instant Poet
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VOL. II, No. 2